1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
bring money and cleavage
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
