Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
