According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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