remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
