There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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