If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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