omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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