I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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