: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
