I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
