Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
