dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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