i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
