Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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