Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
