I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
