Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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