so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
