one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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