The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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