I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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