I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
