AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
