even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
