My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
