I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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