i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's not a walk of shame if you run
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
