then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
