dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
