dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
birth control should be required to get into college
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
