Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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