The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
