I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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