You can't motorboat a personality
there's paper in my vomit.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
