I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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