I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
