wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
