found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
