Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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