season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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