Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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