I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
