peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
