Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
