Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
