My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
