So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Thank you for not boning my boss.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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