my room smells like sperm. sweet.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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