We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think a kid would responsible me up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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