I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
