is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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